[…distance between words and sounds]

18.09.19

Words. 

Not words. 

Feelings. 

Thoughts. 

Feelings. 

Not words, not silence. 

A tap dripping. 

A clock ticking. 

A heart beating. 

A mind reaching. 

What am I saying? 

What am I wanting? 

To run. 

Not to be free.

To be wild. 

To be quiet.

To make space. 

To warm up. 

To get to know  the extremities.

To circulate the air. 

To not  be cold. 

To not be wild, to be tired. 

The right kind of tired. 

I breathe. 

I speak. 

I breathe. 

I unthink. 

I can’t unfeel. 

I can’t sleep. 

I try. 

Why are your hands moving like that?

Nevermind. 

I’ll try again. 

Can you sleep without me?

Actually, can you just leave?

Wait. Stop. 

Do not move. 

Do you know how to breathe?

How long is your breath? 

Let me measure it.

How strong is your spine today? 

Let me hold it for a moment.

Are you in time? 

Are you out of sync?

Be careful,

with your steps, 

With your rhythm. 

The tap is still dripping. 

The clock is still ticking. 

The heart is still beating. 

The mind is  still reaching.

Reaching for  you. 

Not touching you. 

It’s time,

It’s hesitating.

Why are your hands slipping out of mine?

Is this the intention, or just the effect? 

It’s not time. 

It’s not words. 

Feelings. 

Thoughts. 

Feelings. 

Not words, not silence. 

Remember to focus. 

Remember to forget. 

Not words. 

Feelings. 

Thoughts. 

Feelings. 

Not words, not silence. 

Unword-like words.

Sounds. 

Just sounds. 

Marking time. 

It’s just sounds. 

It’s just feeling.

It is feeling, isn’t it?

It is just living.

What am I wanting? 

What am I saying?